Reductio Ad Absurdum

Certain people mean the world to me, and just when I decide that I'm certain I'm sick of them is when I realize that I'd never manage with anyone else.

Funny how sometimes the best way to fix something is to break it. How anything in motion cannot take two steps forward without taking at least one step back.

My doctor is checking my pulse.
Doctor: "You need to lay off the crank and the speed."
Me: "You can tell all that with a stethoscope?!"

Strange how you don't realize you need to see a doctor until the chronic health problems become inconvenient. How the best path to recovery is one of medical masochism.

"Persian people drink a lot of tea."

This guy wants a cupholder in his car for teacups and wine glasses! Interesting how after twenty hours of video interviews, this is how the consumer opinion of the luxury automobile industry shapes up: for every person who likes wood grain, there is a person who hates it. For every person that finds a certain control system modern, another person finds it cluttered. After hours and pages and droves and extensive review, only two things become abundantly clear: soft leather is comfortable, and more people than you might have thought carry bottles of water around with them.

Everyone's riding the seesaw by themselves.

0100 Hours

Methinks the bird chirping outside my window is a bit optimistic about daylight savings time.

It's Always The Last Place You Look

9.5 Miles
For a bright Orange smile
In a place, left in haste
And torn of its pride

Red across town
The sun’s going down
Too late for a date
With a soul cast aside

It was hard to keep track
What I didn’t want back
Too much tension to mention
That it might have been lost

Tired under force
But the reverse discourse
Would move her to prove
Pride was not without cost

A hidden ecology
Of reverse psychology
Is chained to the reigns
That put us on track

You search and it’s gone
But it doesn’t last long
That a home left alone
Can best welcome you back

Backwards in time
The future did climb
Leaving me seething
My plans now unfurled

But the scraps on the floor
Soon formed the door
Strangely arranged
At the top of the world

We stepped through and saw how
The sunsets make sense now
No cause for the flaws
In perception and time

And prejudice lacks words
When perfection runs backwards
I’m facing my grace in
The Russian that’s mine

Even An Atheist Can Believe In The God Of The Gaps

Ever since the scientific community lost its privileges to invoke God as the natural cause of all phenomena, these clever agnostics* invented the anthropic principle (cop-out) to explain to non-specialists things like the reason our universe is capable of supporting life is because that if it didn't, we wouldn't be around to wonder why!

Okay, so the logic is air-tight, but an interesting corollary to the anthropic principle is the fact that efforts to expand upon it (beating a dead horse) involve coming up with all the different ways that things aren't and comparing them to the way things are.

And, it turns out that the anthropic principle can be so god-of-the-gaps-damn fun that you can use it to play bingo while pondering the dimensional significance of space-time!

Illustration courtesy of The Constants of Nature, John D. Barrow

("We are here" and "Tachyons only" are both depicted as white squares above because the author may be traveling faster than the speed of light.)

* Scientists are often unfairly assumed to be atheists, which is clearly not the case

Posterity....

I've always been a fan of Posterity. Once you've shoved off this mortal coil, Posterity is who opens your time capsules, writes about you in history books, and holds festivals in celebration of your memory. Way to go, Posterity. This one's for you...

In the future, your festivals will be eerily reminiscent of the Industrial Revolution